Scoville Units Unite

18 May

First Search Consultancy – SEO cowboys with a different technique

I am used to seeing all the scam letters from SEO companies guaranteeing first place on Google etc. Lately a friend has been getting pestered by phone calls.

Today she had one from Google.

Or at least a company impersonating Google.

The company was First Search Consulting (). A bunch of snake-oil selling cowboys.

I won’t link to their shit website as it:

  • Plays music when you load it
  • Doesn’t have valid HTML
  • Will help them in search engines

Amusingly, like all SEO companies, their own search results are pitiful. The only search page keywords which get them on the first page of Google are the company name.

SEO isn’t the only thing they do though, oh no.

They also do Broadband and Web Design.

On broadband, they don’t actually have that yet, but they are taking orders for a too good to be true deal. Their expertise in the area shines through when they mention they need your MAC code, which changes on a monthly basis.

Fuck knows what they mean by that.

A MAC code in relation to broadband would be a code put on your network card when manufactured which stays the same forever unless you go into the guts of the software and intentionally change it. It certainly doesn’t change frequently never mind monthly.

But their web design side.

Holy crap what an abortion.

Their portfolio has 9 examples of their work.

None of which validate.

Nine of which have table based layout.

These fucking cowboys shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near computers.

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