Scoville Units Unite

17 Apr

Lesbian Vampire Killers

I almost forgot that I went to the cinema to see this. Having never watched Gavin and Stacey I didn’t really know what to expect. What I had expected was a vampire spoof, anything spoofing the lesbian vampire sub-genre would be a bonus.

What I got was, well, mince. Dire acting, pitiful jokes, ridiculous symbolism. Lesbian vampires being defeated by spurting thick white gloop all over the place with the head one killed by being stabbed by the cock sword, a sword, with a penis carved into the handle. Psychologists will find this film a gold mine into the deranged brains of the writers.

Absolutely abysmal, I had expected a Shaun of the Dead style spoof, some intelligence, not jokes which would have peaked in amusement for me at age 12. Definitely don’t intend to watch again.

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