Scoville Units Unite

Movies: First week of January 2009

Generally after making tea, doing dishes and catching up on random e-mails we settle down to a movie, anything from rom-com to horror to world cinema.

So far the ones which I haven’t blocked out this year have been:

Dead Creatures

Catacombs

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

Crime and Punishment in Suburbia

Dead Creatures was quite a fun romp. This is described as similar to Trainspotting in style. A group of young women have been bitten and turned into people who crave human flesh and move from place to place drugging men in pubs, prostituting themselves or just attacking in dark alleys to find victims. Quite cheesy in places but enjoyable. The best scene is one of the girls leaving a newsagent with a copy of the Guardian when her arm starts to not function. The first sign that the zombieitis is starting to control her.

Catacombs was a horror set in France, bought on the cheap on the basis that it was by the people who produced Saw and also starred Pink. Her acting was actually alright until her final scenes in the movie at which point I was bursting out laughing at it, and at the plot spoilers etc. Meh, might watch again at some point.

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane was quite good and a bargain in Grouchos 3/£5 shite bin section (where a large amount of my movie collection comes from). Some decent acting from loads of people in their second or third films. Lots of the actions were incredulous due to shitty writing rather than poor acting. Ok subversion of slasher movie tropes.

Crime and Punishment in Suburbia was watched for the second time, and I had forgotten it starred Vincent Kartheiser (Connor in Angel). He is quite good as an obsessed stalker of the hot girl in school yadda yadda. Abusive parent played remarkably well by Michael Ironside who will forever be refereed to as Richter from Total Recall no matter what he does.

Looks like we will have to hit rom-com/comedy territory to balance out film intake.

No doubt many people have seen the pictures of Orthodox Jews in New York protesting against the invasion which today resulted in the bombing of a school.

What has not been as widely reported are the demos in Israel against the action

One account described the slogans/banners and the hoops they had to jump through to be able to protest.

Seems a certain tanned celeb has taken some money from Silvio Berlusconi, owner of Endemol.

A multimillionaire politician and media tycoon responsible for the harassment and mass fingerprinting of the Roma population in Italy and trying to make himself immune to prosecution for his corrupt terms in power.

After taking a massive amount of cash for a huge spread in the Daily Record including half naked pictures it is unsurprising.

At the weekend I had better things to do, such as attend a protest against the slaughter in Gaza.

And it starts with the news that the Israeli military are bombing the shite out of Palestinians…again. Easy to see another election is looming.

96 years and 230+ wars (28 ongoing) after the war to end all wars.

Israel have been blockading medical supplies to Palestine for months and one of their ships rammed a vessel in international waters taking urgent medical supplies to help the injured.

Consider donating a small sum to Medical Aid for Palestine, one of the charities working to provide on the ground emergency medical aid.

Last week I finally managed to pick up the much delayed issue of Buffy the comic, it was quite good. The cover art was amazing. I also grabbed Solomon Kane and the Underworld 2 parter, both of which were quite enjoyable although I think the Underworld story was covered in the second movie.

I also managed to read through a short Buffy novel Doomsday Deck. I picked it up for about a quid and it was quite enjoyable. I am always a bit weary of TV tie-in books but they are easy to pick up and carry on from, so perfect for reading on the bus early in the morning. Unlike the TV show though you already know that character A is not going to die and character B manages to escape without injury, especially ones set before the current time line in the universe. Ho-hum, it wasted some time and was a change.

I don’t know what my reading list is next year but Tayside Recyclers 10p specials have yielded me quite a varied bunch, I think for comedy’s sake I have to start the new year with Kilroy Silks autobiography from the 80s. It’s going to be baaaaaad.

In Glasgow and the shop that I used to buy SKYY no longer stocks it. In Edinburgh the next week and not only did the swanky hotel only have Vladivar (at four bloody pounds!), Oddbins have been having trouble buying in Reyka.

If Brown’s ridiculous use of anti-terrorism laws against Iceland have stopped this beautiful drink getting into the country it will be the straw that broke the camels back. I’ll oppose you privatising public services, march against the wars and bailouts you have bottomless pits of money for, but deny me good vodka and you’re beyond the pale sunshine.

In other news this week, a tanned celebrity going into Big Brother house has caused much mirth in lefty circles and an Iraqi with a pretty good aim has caused many cheers.

Fantastic video starring Jack Black, Sarah Chalke and Neil Patrick Harris.

Given they have just pushed out a mega update it seems a good time to link to Strange Maps.

A really interesting site, especially if like me, you are a huge nerd.

There are all sorts of maps, from fantastical ones to real ones of countries that don’t exist and micro-nations which existed for a brief glimmer.

Some strange examples include:

Stalin’s proposed homeland for Russian Jews

Europe, If the Nazis Had Won

The World in (George Orwell’s) 1984

Elleore – occupies a special place among [Danish islands]: unpeopled for most of the year, and not part of Denmark when it is – that is, if you’re partial to the semi-jocular sovereignty claims of micronations.

Cannibal Map of the World

Prepare to lose a day or two learning obscure geography.

Last night we went to see Frightened Rabbit in Fattys.

Attendance was probably around 200, with loads of under 18s for some reason I couldn’t understand, maybe Frightened Rabbit has a following with the teens?

We just caught the end of the first support band not used to advertised doors times being accurate…They were quite good, as were the Grace Emilys.

Frightened Rabbit came on before 10 and played for an hour with a small encore. They were as good on stage as on CD. I really like the second album that Mike forced on us going listen you’ll love this as we were met with:

Oh, you won’t find love in a
Won’t find love in a hole
It takes more than fucking someone
To keep yourself warm

Much amusement. Their songs were also filled with innuendo and cheesy silliness If we have a hormone race, I’m bound to finish first says another verse of the same song.

The voice of the singer is unique, powerful, raw and with a really detectable accent, a cross between Billy Bragg and Flying Matchstick Men or something, who knows.

Hearing Keep Warm I was worried they would be a bit preachy. Head Rolls Off makes it clear they are not

Jesus is just a Spanish boy’s name
How come one man got so much fame?
…
When it’s all gone, something carries on
And it’s not morbid at all
Just when nature’s had enough of you
When my blood stops, someone else’s will not

and ends with the most important point:

While I’m alive, I’ll make tiny changes to earth
Tiny changes to earth, tiny changes to earth
Tiny changes to earth

If the excellence of their music and intelligence of their lyrics are not enough to convince you to love them then the drummer being an Owen Boss Koala lookalike and Rhythm Guitarist being Jarvis Cocker in disguise should.

When in Glasgow on Sunday night and hunting for a place not fully booked Mike recommended the Committee Rooms in Glasgow. We popped in and it was pretty cool. Some nice pictures on the wall including the Battle of George Square.

Barman asked what we wanted to drink and this exchange amused me no end.

Me: What vodkas do you have?
Barman: Well, if you’re a vodka connoisseur then you can have Grey Goose or Finlandia.
Me: Well seeing as I am and Grey Goose is shite, I’ll have the Finlandia please.
Barman: I have never heard anyone say that about Grey Goose before!

He was genuinely shocked.

For the meal I had their classic burger with piri piri sauce and Emmental cheese. It was grand.